Going Postal

If there is an example of a business refusing to adapt with the times, it’s the United States Postal Service.  But for ongoing support of the US government and us taxpayers it would have drifted into oblivion years ago. Void of competition for decades, the USPO is failing miserably in meeting current needs; forget about expectations. Worse, the only solutions it offers involve cutting services (again) and raising rates (again).  And a FOREVER stamp?  Really?

I was reminded of the frustrations several times within an hour recently as I grabbed our business mail heading out the door to, of all places, the US Post Office. A huge envelope someone had waited in line and purchased postage for, had been mis-delivered to North Main Street instead of South Main Street. Happens ALL the time. Also in the mailbox: a handful of returned letters with expired addresses and forwarding orders.

Off to the city’s main post office where building repairs snatched the close parking spaces. This government services business greets its customers through a nasty entrance covered in grime and fingerprints routing you to a line that is, by mid-morning, winding out the front door.

The SELF-SERVICE Center machines are broken leaving customers no alternative but to deal with postal workers.  Everyone stands in line facing a list of demands via posted signage.  NO CELL PHONES. NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS. PASSPORT APPLICACTIONS ACCEPTED BY APPOINTMENT ONLY.  NO MAIL WILL BE HANDED OUT.  Huh? NO ONE-DAY HOLDS.

To be fair, there is ONE positive message:  THANK YOU FOR NOT SMOKING! An entire half of the business area is roped off. It formerly provided those now reduced or eliminated postal products and services.

At the main counter, one of three available clerks (for 5 stations) is explaining to a dear elderly man “No, we don’t do special delivery anymore.”  To which he replies, “What? You got rid of that too?” The nicer, more customer-friendly clerk at the next station explains, “I tell people it’s now express or second day delivery service.” Wasn’t that once a given?

One gentleman is complaining because he mailed his bills before deadline in an envelope provided with a printed and correct address but the USPO mis-delivered, he missed the bill deadline and now has a surcharge to his account. He’s asked to step aside and wait outside another door that remains closed the entire 20 minutes I am in line.

You get the picture.  If given a choice, would we demonstrate ongoing patience with any other business (or employee) that treats customers this way?  Wouldn’t we be more impressed with being told what CAN be done for us as opposed to what the business (or employee) can’t or won’t do? What about the off-putting signage that insults the very people who pay the salaries and light bills to keep this operation in business?

Every worker and business in America is providing a service, meeting a need, or both. You simply can’t continue to do business the way you’ve always conducted it and expect to profit and stay viable into the next decade. Eventually you’ll ‘NO’ yourself out of a job.

What got you here, won’t get you there!

If your business is merely holding steady or on the decline, if you continue to cut services while raising rates….if you are failing to meet the needs of the world, prepare for free-fall straight into the history books. THAT should be enough to keep you from GOING POSTAL!!

~ From the desk of Becky Morlok ~

Feeling Vulnerable?

The Crack Cocaine of Validation apparently hit home with Career Chit-Chat readers. Looming closely to it is a sister issue: VULNERABILITY. Mere mention of the word makes people cringe in discomfort. Unlike the addiction to validation, vulnerability can be a great asset.

In her book, Daring Greatly, Brene Brown outlines the Ten Gifts of Imperfection, among them the gift of cultivating meaningful work (by letting go of self-doubt and ‘supposed to.’) She defines vulnerability as uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure. Ewww! Naked, scary stuff.

Vulnerability is also the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity, the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. See Behind Closed Doors. In a competitive, dog-eat-dog economy with employees feeling more exposed than ever, how is vulnerability a good thing?

“Our willingness to own and engage with our vulnerability determines the depth of our courage and the clarity of our purpose; the level to which we protect ourselves from being vulnerable is a measure of our fear and disconnection.

When we spend our lives waiting until we’re perfect or bulletproof before we walk into the arena, we ultimately sacrifice relationships and opportunities that may not be recoverable, we squander our precious time, and we turn our backs on our gifts, those unique contributions that only we can make.

Rather than sitting on the sidelines and hurling judgment and advice, we must dare to show up and let ourselves be seen. This is vulnerability. This is daring greatly,” (Brown).

“The truth is nothing worthwhile in this world is a safe bet….when you hide from your vulnerability, you automatically hide from everything in life worth attaining,” 6 Ways You Are Your Own Worst Enemy.

Peter Sheahan, author, speaker, CEO of ChangeLabs: “The secret killer of innovation is shame…. Every time someone holds back on a new idea, fails to give their manager much needed feedback, and is afraid to speak up in front of a client you can be sure shame played a part. That deep fear….of being wrong, of being belittled and of feeling less than is what stops us taking the very risks required to move our companies forward.

If you want a culture of creativity and innovation, where sensible risks are embraced on both a market and individual level, start by developing the ability of managers to cultivate an openness to vulnerability in their teams….this….requires first that they are vulnerable themselves. This notion that the leader needs to be ‘in charge’ and to ‘know all the answers’ is both dated and destructive. Its impact on others is the sense that they know less, and that they are less than…Shame becomes fear. Fear leads to risk aversion. Risk aversion kills innovation.”

Research shows we judge others in areas where we are most vulnerable ourselves. Vulnerability is perceived as weakness. We confuse feeling with failing and emotions with liabilities. Brown concludes: If we mean to reclaim the essential emotional part of our lives and reignite our passion and purpose, we have to learn how to own and engage with our vulnerability and how to feel the emotions that come with it…..When we stop caring about what people think, we lose our capacity for connection. When we become defined by what people think, we lose our willingness to be vulnerable.

Is the door to your heart open?  Open enough to allow others to see the REAL you?  For REALLY REAL? Is your authenticity anchored in humility? If you can answer those questions honestly with a “YES,” then congratulations!  You are exactly what this world needs. Be authentic. Be vulnerable. Be a blessing!

~From the desk of Becky Morlok~

Are You a Keeper?

I’ve been working with an incredibly gifted workforce in an organization that has set the bar in its industry.  The company is ready raise that bar and grow to the next level. (Sigh.) How awesome and rare is that these days?

There will be culture shifts and changes. Growth never comes without discomfort, some growing pains, pruning, and a lot of fertilizer. But it’s necessary if you wish to bear more fruit.

When the culture of an organization mandates that it is more important to protect the reputation of a system and who’s in power than it is to protect the basic human dignity of individuals or communities, you can be certain that shame is systemic, money drives ethics, and accountability is dead. This is true in all systems, from corporation, nonprofits, universities, and governments, to churches, schools, families, and sports programs. If you think back on any major incidents fueled by cover-ups, you’ll see this pattern,” (Brene Brown – Daring Greatly).

How do you raise the bar? Here’s a clue: You only get what you accept.

On the employee side, the process involves individual and team challenges with willingness to see and approach tasks differently. Resisting the temptations of entitlement and validation (The Crack Cocaine of Validation), taking the initiative to make things better, and leading by example. Employees are learning to be proactive (not reactive) and to stand UP! as opposed to standing down.

There are corresponding duties and responsibilities required of the employer and its leadership. Standards of performance must be defined, communicated and enforced.  Mission, values, vision must be top of mind and most importantly, it must be responsive to employees with effective, timely, two-way communication, nurture and praise.

With leaner, more focused workforces, employers no longer have the time or energy to nurse drama, employee push back and other problematic situations AND get the product out the door cheaper, better, faster, more customer-focused and ahead of the competition. If you accept less than the best work/work product, (including company vendors), you’re contributing to your organization’s demise. Similarly, if you see a situation, something that needs addressing or improving and you stand down, it continues to fester and contaminate the workforce. You become part of the decay. Decay is part of death.

So what skills, abilities and traits are employers seeking in employees?  Kinetix Chief Human Resources Officer Kris Dunn (blog: the hr capitali$t)’s Must Have Career Skill  advises us HR professionals:

“Your talent – my talent – is faced with at least 5 conversations a day if not more, they don’t have experience in.  Training for all the things that require adaptability on the fly is not possible. That’s why the best hires are the ones that aren’t afraid to jump on a call or in a meeting where they have limited subject matter expertise and wing it…..People who can facilitate and participate in conversations where they have limited subject matter expertise – and become more knowledgeable by the minute while that conversation is going on – are the ones worth their weight in gold.”

Favorite author/ blogger Seth Godin shoots straight in a January blog entitled The Cost of Neutral.

“If you come to my brainstorming meeting and say nothing, it would have been better if you hadn’t come at all.

If you go to work and do what you’re told, you’re not being negative, certainly, but the lack of initiative you demonstrate (which, alas, you were trained not to demonstrate) costs us all, because you’re using a slot that could have been filled by someone who would have added more value.

It’s tempting to sit quietly, take notes and comply, rationalizing that at least you’re not doing anything negative. But the opportunity cost your newly lean, highly leveraged organization faces is significant.

Not adding value is the same as taking it away.”

When hiring and evaluating employees, who are the keepers? The passionately engaged, ‘can-do’ workers who take their employers into a more prosperous future all possess three essential traits.

Stand UP!      Speak UP!      Step UP!

~From the desk of Becky Morlok~

The Crack Cocaine of Validation

Ever experienced a time when circumstances point to a lesson you best learn, much like an episode of My Three Sons? My Three Sons was a TV comedy series (1960 to 1972) that followed the life of a widower named Steven Douglas (Fred MacMurray), raising his three sons.

The Theme of Spring and today’s blog episode is PERSONAL VALIDATION IN THE WORKPLACE. So, let’s put this out into Cyberland and see if we can’t define this life lesson for those struggling in Employment Land.

We arrive into this world helpless and clueless. Through our education system and child rearing with the best of parental intentions, we are coddled, reinforced, and often pushed to succeed. As children we win ribbons at Field Day, quiver with report cards, anxiously await the grade on a term paper, and the review of a thesis until one day, we are dumped out of academia and into the cold, cruel Working World. Most often we are in our 20’s, anxious to be on our own, our heads finally out of textbooks, but totally in the clouds. We hit our first jobs ready to change the world, earn our first million, cure cancer and show the world we know what it needs.

Within a few short months, reality takes hold and it dawns on us, “Whoa! I no longer have immediate feedback to tell me where I stand.”  Projects and customers and revenue become the new buzz words as we look anywhere and everywhere for performance feedback – for someone to tell us we’re (still) awesome, a cut above, and that the world cannot possibly turn without our index finger to push the globe. You realize that you’ve been dropped in the Employment Ocean expected to make it on your own, likely in an entry-level position with a supervisor or manager who is way too busy to show or throw you the ropes because he/she’s so busy trying to appease his/her boss.

~Enter the CRACK COCAINE of PERSONAL VALIDATION! ~

I remember serving in the federal court system and private law firms in my 20′s. Attorneys and judges did not exist to validate my existence.  I was expected to affirm and help THEM and THEIR clients with billable hours. This is the time when the “all about me” era should come to a crashing halt. In the best of worlds you have someone (human resources or a trusted mentor) who will be frank with you about the reality of what’s going on. But often the addiction simply grows in severity until YOU become a real workplace problem.

So, here’s the “HR ADVICE” you should remember in addition to Hey! It’s Business! Whether you’re a new employee or been in business for decades, take this to heart:

Never, ever, ever hand your validation as a person or  business professional to anyone. DO NOT grant anyone the power over your value and self-worth – not a business colleague, a trusted friend, a supervisor, manager, department head, CEO, not your spouse, your mother or father. YOU are the keeper of your value and worth forever and always. You ultimately answer to yourself and, if you are a person of faith, to your Maker.

At the end of the day, what ultimately counts is if YOU know in your heart and mind that you have done your best to make a difference. Was the day and the world better because you were a part of it in service to others?  Can you thank God for the mission field you served upon and be willing and ready to serve it again tomorrow?

~From the desk of Becky Morlok~

Food for thought……

Spring arrives this month, the Season of growth and renewal, of transition from the dead and dormant to life and fruitful abundance. As individuals, we go through these transitions just as businesses go through life cycles. If you’re not growing, you’re dying, and sometimes, events transpire so quickly that either can happen in the blink of an eye.

I’m reminded of The Boston Marathon bombings just this week, and of Author/Pastor Rick Warren (Purpose Driven Life) who just lost his son to suicide this month. When the world is literally exploding in bloom and birth all around you, explosions of shock and grief are all the more permeable. Thankfully, Nature always takes the initiative to make things better, life renews, the sun stills rises and the rain falls to nurture.

My thoughts return frequently to a quote from Rick Warren that I’ve kept close in recent years:

“You always reap in a different season than you sowed. You sow in one season and then you reap the benefit in another season. You can go plant a seed today, dig it up tomorrow, and there will be no difference. But if you let it settle, slowly it will grow and produce. That’s the faith portion of the waiting period in God’s economy.” 

Where is the patience needed for the time between planting and reaping?  We want everything NOW. We want a full bed of flowers, a fully formed tomato, the house built in record time. We want to short circuit childhood to be adults. We don’t want to take the time to experience the journey of waiting and the lessons it teaches. And then, there comes a day when it’s the season to prune, to rid of dead growth, to enable more abundance. Pruning is ugly, often painful and requires change and discipline…more grown-up traits we rushed through childhood for. As adults we want no part of it. We hate change and that’s a shame because it’s the nature cycle of life. See WAIT!

“Nothing in the world is permanent, and we’re foolish when we ask anything to last, but surely we’re still more foolish not to take delight in it while we have it. If change is of the essence of existence one would have thought it only sensible to make it the premise of our philosophy. We can none of us step into the same river twice, but the river flows on and the other river we step into is cool and refreshing too,” W. Somerset Maugham.

“People wait. They wait for the elusive day when they’ll finally have enough time (guess what? – you never will), enough education (there’s always more to know), enough money (no matter how much you make, someone will always have more) . . . People wait until that fateful day when they wake up and realize that while they were sitting around paying dues, earning their keep, waiting for that elusive ‘perfect time’ their entire life has passed them by,” The Power of Starting Something Stupid by Richie Norton.

What seeds have you sown that you are reaping now? What are you waiting to reap? What nurture are you gifting to what is already planted? Does it have the air and space and food to grow on its own? What are you rushing to pull from the ground before it’s fully grown? What seeds are you sowing to reap in years to come?  What will be left behind when your Season is over?

I sow these seeds as food for thought for all of us….

~From the desk of Becky Morlok~

What We Don’t Know!

Ignorance is bliss. The older I become, the more I want to believe that. Sometimes, we know TOO much. Sometimes, we go off, half-cocked, passionately swinging, ignorant as the day is long.

Oh the trouble we could avoid if everyone moved with good intentions and factually correct information.  We are left to gather our own facts in life.  The sources and resources we use to educate ourselves (or not) have a great bearing on why and what we think, and in turn, how we react to the world. “But the upside of painful knowledge is so much greater than the downside of blissful ignorance, ” (Lean In, Sheryl Sandberg).

Strong, effective, open communication is the foundation to empowerment and a trusting, healthy relationship. In its absence, individuals are left to surmise, second-guess, and create wildly imaginative scenarios to navigate their worlds. You’re drawing your own conclusions now, right?

Sobering examples comprise The Presidents Club:  Inside the world’s most exclusive fraternity by Time Magazine’s Executive Editor Nancy Gibbs and Washington Bureau Chief Michael Duffy. The exclusive fraternity happens to be former United States Presidents.

Despite being a political science major this book taught me more than I wanted to know about how much US history has been shaped by male egos, the desire for election and legacy, inclusion and exclusivity.  “It’s hard to imagine a more obviously fascinating prism through which to look at American history… ex-Presidents have a penchant for morphing from consummate team players into irascible rogues, sometimes within weeks, as they strive both to remain relevant and to shape their own legacies,” (Amazon review).

One passage written about Daniel Ellsberg was especially telling:

“…it was Ellsberg…who tried to warn Kissinger about what happens when a new president and his team suddenly come into office and have access to the top secret intelligence reports. “First, you’ll be exhilarated by some of this new information, and by having it all – so much! Incredible! – suddenly available to you,” he told Kissinger after the election. “But second, almost as fast, you will feel like a fool for having studied, written, talked about these subjects, criticized and analyzed decisions made by presidents for years without having known of the existence of all this information, which presidents and others had and you didn’t, and which must have influenced their decisions in ways you couldn’t even guess.”  You’ll be amazed that the insiders tolerated the bleatings of the outsiders without divulging what they knew, he explained, and you’ll feel like a fool. But soon, “after you’ve started reading all this daily intelligence input…which is much more closely held than mere top secret data, you will forget there ever was a time when you didn’t have it, and you’ll be aware only of the fact that you have it now and most others don’t…and that all those other people are fools.” The warning captured perfectly how presidents become isolated, their circle of trust constrained by knowledge that is theirs alone.”

Consider the ageless friction and tension in relationships. The level of conflict is in exact proportion to how much (if any) detail you choose to conceal or provide, the level of trust in the relationship, the source of the information, its impact on the receiver, and what your intentions and motivations are. Information is a powerful tool. It can save lives, nations, reputations. It can destroy them. Information and feedback go hand-in-hand with transformative change, good or bad. Does all this make navigating the world in a blissful fog tempting?

“When the culture of an organization mandates that it is more important to protect the reputation of a system and who’s in power than it is to protect the basic human dignity of individuals or communities, you can be certain that shame is systemic, money drives ethics, and accountability is dead. This is true in all systems, from corporation, nonprofits, universities, and governments, to churches, schools, families, and sports programs. If you think back on any major incidents fueled by cover-ups, you’ll see this pattern,” (Daring Greatly by Brene Brown).

Whether the provider or  receiver, avoid the use of personal ego; it can eliminate conflict.  Avoid the use of your vivid imagination; save it for writing great fiction. With intention use a rational focus and sensibility for all things good and kind, for the well-being of all that is true and good. That’s the power tool that moves the world forward with honesty and integrity.

~From the desk of Becky Morlok~

Never, ever, ever, ever

In honor of March Madness, ESPN’s “30 for 30,” Survive and Advance, my alma mater, NC State University, and the late Coach Jimmy Valvano, I repost: Never Give Up!

One of the phrases our family uses as somewhat of a motto is: Don’t give up. Don’t ever give up. We associate the quote with beloved, former NC State Basketball Coach Jim Valvano who used it as the motto of The Jimmy V Foundation for Cancer Research in his now famous 1993 ESPY speech Jimmy Valvano’s 1993 ESPY speech. It’s a shortened version from Winston Churchill: “Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, give up. Never give up. Never give up. Never give up.”

That’s a lot to put on a refrigerator magnet for daily inspiration so our magnet reads, “NEVER NEVER NEVER GIVE UP!” It’s right next to my other favorite magnet, “LET GO OR BE DRAGGED!”  There is a lot of living to be done between those two magnets. Our refrigerator door sees a lot of action!

While a continent and a few decades separated Jim Valvano and Winston Churchill, they were highly successful leaders with definite ideas and track records of success. One was a passionate Italian, the other a more reserved British statesman. Churchill believed “The pessimist sees the problems in every opportunity. Whereas the optimist sees the opportunity in every problem.” He reiterated, “Never give in, never give in, never; never; never; never – in nothing, great or small, large or petty – never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense.” 

For Jim Valvano, whose life was too quickly shortened by cancer, “To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. And number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that’s a full day. That’s a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you’re going to have something special.”

In my work with those in career transition, I stress the need to surrender into the place where you are.  Stubborn resistance only creates more stress and fear and fails to move you forward. If you fall out of a boat and flail your arms in panic it serves no purpose. Relaxing and stretching with the water keeps you in control with an element of calm as you survey your situation. Let go or be dragged (under)! It’s like stepping away from a closed door to seek another exit.

There is a fine line between never giving up and letting go. Surrender IS part of letting go. Surrender is sadly associated with cowards abandoning causes and waving white flags.  True surrender it to give up by never giving up – not being sure but being CERTAIN. Have faith!  Do all you can and then allow things to happen as and when they are supposed to. It takes discipline but it works.

So how exactly do let go of control?  Anxiety occurs where there is more emotion present than your body can handle. Let go of anxiety and live in the present. Slap down worry as you would a mosquito. It serves no purpose.  Have complete faith. Set no timetables. Persevere as Valvano and Churchill did so well.

Valvano instilled into his 1983 NC State University Basketball Team that there was nothing too great or too big they could not accomplish. The team remained open to all possibilities as Valvano instilled and fed the passion in their hearts.  That team made history as the Cardiac Pack against very long odds and became the 1983 NCAA Basketball Champions. History remembers Valvano best as he ran around the basketball court looking for someone to hug just after a last second shot defeated the University of Houston and ended its 26-game winning streak.

Suffice it to say, Churchill and Valvano never, ever gave up. They experienced great joy, success and victory. YOU can TOO!

~From the desk of Becky Morlok~